Highly Opinionated: A Millennial’s Response To Nirmala Sitharaman’s Auto Slump Theory

Finance Minister Sitharaman asserts millennials influenced the auto sector crisis because they prefer Ola, Uber. Maybe, we should #BoycottMillennials!

Niamala Sitharaman

Finance Minister Nirmala Sitharaman, in a press conference on Tuesday (September 10), suggested that millennials and their preference for micro-mobility have influenced the slowdown in the automobile industry in India. For those out of the loop, the sector has been hit by one of the worst crisis in its history ever. Off late, the tanking of everything ranging from the insurance to real estate industries has been blamed on the millennials. Now, the Indian FinMin thinks the generation’s decision to invest in a cab is driven by a ‘mindset’ and not because we don’t have enough money to pay EMIs. Oh, we sure take the credit for bolstering a slowdown in the auto sector because who doesn’t like cabbies canceling on them + be rude and pay double-triple the money in the name of surge pricing, right? I mean, us millennials never miss an opportunity to preserve our ex’s OTT platforms’ account passwords – not out of love but because we are so broke!

Hold on to your favourite pair of denim, the millennials are killing! The FM’s remarks come in addition to the worldwide trend accusing the generation left, right and center of killing a dozen and more type of industries. It goes from cereal to diamond, no kidding. Maybe, we should really #BoycottMillennials – who knows what would be Gen-Y’s next target? Better safe than sorry. So, we used Sitharaman’s theory and applied it to form a list of five sectors the millennials might be onto next.

1. Gau Raksha

Watch out keepers of the holy cow, a large number of gau rakshaks aka cow protectors are on the verge of unemployment because the millennials are fastly adopting a weird lifestyle: veganism. Becoming a vegetarian or a vegan is their way of addressing the ongoing environmental issues and thus, the switch. Gen-Y is enjoying their avocado toast and hence, we may not need as many cow protection units in the future.

2. Contraceptives

Ours is the land of the Kama Sutra. Gen-Y hearts technology and by extension, apps. But the rise in the number of dating apps is inversely proportional to the number of people having s**. You don’t even need a typical Hindi film father to put you off, the tacky bios and creepy selfies do the job just fine. So, sorry guys, the c***om manufacturers might be looking at godowns full of inventories with no buyers.

3. Tourism

You may beg to differ on this one, but let me explain. Millennials are so bitten by #wanderlust that they have it tattooed it on their bodies. Anything for the gram, obviously! But the generation may not prefer having a local guide, because they would rather invest in a selfie-stick, online itinerary and a good service provider to access the internet for Google Maps.

4. Hotel

Gen-Y loves taking a break. I mean, they would instead travel the world than invest in a house. But they are a hogger for good deals and like to customize. Therefore, Airbnb and Oyo are becoming the widely opted stay alternatives and perhaps the hotel industry might be the next to see a slump.

5. Human Resources

This gang takes passion very seriously. It loves speed and doesn’t wait to see their passion unfold in front of their eyes. Walking out on their uptight, high-paying corporate jobs, millennials are echoing Selena Gomez’s sentiment – the heart wants what it wants. It could be a freelance job or a business of their own. In our opinion, HR might experience downsizing too if the trend continues.

Doctor, lawyer, engineer, an investment banker is no longer the top career choices, not until the drivers are in the race. The Internet continues to flood with memes on Sitharaman’s theory while we ask: Millennials, what are you killing next?

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